So I’ve mentioned that the wedding was really super amazingly awesome. All of it. But if I had to pick a favorite part it would be the ceremony. It was so totally “Melissa and Tyler” from start to finish. I have some favorites within my favorite, though. And one of them is our vows. Non-traditional, obviously. But absolutely perfect to us.
We created them on the Monday before the wedding after procrastinating this particular task for months. I kept a running list of what needed to be done each day and on this day, you know, five days before we were to be married, one of the items was “Seriously! Write your damn vows, already.” So, we forced ourselves to sit down in the living room, poured some wine, and stared at each other. We didn’t know where to start, what exactly we wanted to say, who would be delivering the vows, nothing. We just knew we wanted them to be 100% ours.
Tyler started by saying “I promise to keep wine in the “beer” fridge for you,” to which I countered “Um, how about I promise to keep beer in the WINE fridge for you?”
We just kept going from there. One, maybe two (I’m not quite sure, which makes me think it was closer to two) bottles of wine later, we had vows:
Tyler: I promise to always keep wine in the beer fridge.
Melissa: I promise to always keep beer in the wine fridge.
Tyler: I promise to pick up the glasses you leave around the house.
Melissa: I promise to put the dishes from your late night snacks in the dishwasher every morning.
Tyler: I promise to love and care for the animals you take in.
Melissa: I promise not to take in any more animals without discussing it with you first.
This became super important super quickly, btw.
Tyler: I promise to indulge your craziness when it needs to come out.
Melissa: I promise to try to minimize the impact my craziness has on you.
Tyler: I promise to first look for the positive in your ideas.
Melissa: I promise to be patient when you need to point out the negative.
We’re switching it up here, so don’t get lost.
Melissa: I promise to support your need to socialize.
Tyler: I promise to support your need to be a hermit.
Melissa: I promise to support your hobbies and the cost associated with them.
Tyler: I promise to make sure our needs are taken care of before indulging in my hobbies.
Melissa: I promise not to get annoyed when you ask me to clip your toenails.
Tyler: I promise not to complain about watching Grey’s Anatomy no matter how many times we’ve seen the episode in question.
Tyler: I promise to tell you every day that I love you and how beautiful I think you are.
Melissa: I promise to believe you.
Tyler: I promise to top off your wine first in case there isn’t enough for us both.
Melissa: Yeah, I do not promise that.
That last one was literally the final vow we came up with during our brainstorming session. Or at least Tyler said it as he was refilling my wine glass for the bazillionth time and I laughed as I told him I couldn’t promise the same. We looked at each other in that moment and knew that little bit of conversation, so very us, had to be a part of the ceremony, too. It was also our sign that wedding vow creation had been completed.
All of the vows, however silly on the surface, meant something to both of us. (I had intend to write about that, too, but it was sooooo long. So we made a video instead. If you want to know why it was important that I mention my husband’s toenails in our wedding vows, you can click here to be enlightened!)
But I also wanted to promise a few more things that weren’t necessarily inside jokes and whose important meaning was decipherable to everyone else in the room. We had our officiant deliver these.
Melissa, do you promise to help Tyler when he needs it and always ask for help in return. Do you promise to talk through things together, working to listen before you speak? Do you promise to remain true to yourself while striving to grow as a couple?
Hell yes! I do.